Tools
The quizzes tell you where you stand. These help you act on it: say the hard thing, write the understanding down, and keep checking it's still true — now including together-tools that work on two phones, sealed until you've both answered.
Free means free — and private means checkable
Everything here is a non-profit commitment: no paywalls, no tiers, no upsells. Privacy is per-tool and honest: solo tools run entirely in your browser and upload nothing, ever. The two-phone couples tools seal your answers on your own device with a key we never see — our server carries unreadable ciphertext between you, and that's all it can do.
For the two of you
Each answers alone — on your own phones or passing one device — then you compare, kindly.
The Couples Alignment Quiz
The same questions for each of you — desires, limits, pace, consent — answered separately so neither anchors the other. On two phones, answers stay sealed until you've both finished; then the results unlock for both of you at once.
The Agreement Builder
Eight steps to a written understanding you both sign: scope, your desires verbatim, hard limits, autonomy protections, pace, and health guardrails. Three consent protections print on every agreement and can't be unchecked. Reads your couples-quiz results if they're on this device.
Check-in Cadence
A five-minute temperature check on a rhythm you pick — each of you on your own phone, whenever suits you that day, sealed until both sides are in. Flags where your answers moved apart, from each other or from your own last time. If you built an agreement, it asks your questions.
For the conversation
One tool for each side of the table.
The Disclosure Letter Builder
For the conversation you've been carrying. Your truth leads; every supporting line is editable until it sounds like you; and before drafting, the tool reads your answers back and points at anything a careful friend would question.
The Conversation Planner
For the partner: told, found out, suspecting, or asked for something odd without the why. Plan one honest conversation on your terms — your ground rules, the question you most need answered, an opener in your words. Staying, compromising, and leaving all stay valid.
The Fantasy Articulation Journey
A staged private walk through what you want, why it moves you, and the question that changes everything: what's fantasy versus for-real. Each desire gets sorted honestly before anyone else ever hears about it.
For yourself, over time
Self-knowledge is a practice, not a result page.
The Reflection Journal
One hundred serious questions — desire, body, consent, health, identity — answered one at a time, dated, and resurfaced months later so you can see your own drift. The drift is the interesting part.
The Therapist Prep Pack
Walk into a first session prepared, not apologetic: your reflections become clean session notes, plus a one-page explainer about feederism written for the clinician — so you don't spend paid hours as their teacher.
The Doctor Visit Prep Pack
Bodies gaining on purpose deserve excellent medical care. Prepare the visit: your asks, your questions, a disclosure level you choose — full, practical, or none yet — plus a one-page primer for the clinician on weight-neutral care.
Beyond the tools
The parts of this only other people can give you.
Ask Clair
The letters column. Write in about your situation with your free account, and selected letters get answered publicly — under a byline you invent, with every identifying detail changed. Withdraw it any time before it runs.
Write a letter → Real accounts · moderatedStories
First-person accounts of living this: the disclosure, year five, the no, the balance. Real, de-identified, non-explicit — the proof-someone-else-stood-here that articles can't give.
Read, or tell yours → Members · 5–8 minThe Community Survey
The niche describes itself, or it gets described. Roles, consent practices, wellbeing, disclosure — one response per person, answers stored unlinked to your account, published as open aggregate data.
Be counted →Why these exist
Feederism's real difficulties are rarely about the kink itself. They're relational: the secret never told, the yes never quite asked for, the agreement that lived in two different memories. Those problems have structure, and structured problems can be helped by tools. Everything here was built from the same research base as our articles and quizzes, with one rule throughout: the tool organizes, you decide. Nothing here diagnoses, prescribes, or pushes.
Common questions
Are these really free? What's the catch?
Really free, no catch. This part of the site is run as a non-profit commitment: helping people in this niche live more honestly is the site's purpose, not its funnel. There is nothing to upsell you to.
Where does my data go?
It depends on the tool, and each one says so plainly. Solo tools: nowhere — they run entirely in your browser, drafts stay in your own local storage, one-click erase. Two-phone couples tools: your answers are encrypted on your device with a key that travels only inside the invite link you send your partner — our server stores ciphertext it cannot read, and won't release either side until both are in. The letters column and story library are the other way around and say so: a submission is a message to us, stored so a human can read it, published only under an invented byline with details changed. The survey splits the difference: it records that you took part, as an irreversible hash, in a table that is never joined to the one holding your answers.
Do I need an account?
For the nine tools, only where something has to leave your device: solo tools never need one, and the couples tools need a free account for each partner when you use them across two phones (it's what makes each side provably yours, keeps a stray link-holder from answering as your partner, and lets either of you end the pairing alone). Writing to the letters column, the story library, or the survey needs one too — real people, real letters, one response each. An account also adds saved results on a private dashboard, end-to-end encrypted sync for the journal and check-in history, and opt-in email rhythms. The email address is the whole account.
Is any of this professional advice?
No. These are structured communication aids for adults 18+, not legal, medical, or psychological services. The two prep packs exist precisely to route you to real professionals well-prepared. For support, including kink-aware therapists, see the support resources.
Free, private, and 18+ — all of it, always. The quizzes · Ask Clair · Stories · Survey · My space · Support