Agreements age. Bodies change, seasons change, and a yes from March can quietly stop being true by July with nobody deciding anything. This is the maintenance tool: a short temperature-check you each answer separately on one device, compared side by side, with gentle flags wherever your answers move apart — from each other, or from your own last time. Five minutes on a rhythm beats two hours in a crisis.
For adults 18+ · A conversation aid — flags are invitations, never verdicts.
Most feederism problems don't arrive as events; they accumulate as drift. The pace creeps. The enthusiasm that was real in winter becomes accommodation by summer, one unobjectionable evening at a time. Nobody lies — the information just never gets a moment built for it. Relationship research is unambiguous about the fix: couples who run small, regular, low-stakes check-ins catch divergence while it's still cheap to talk about, and consent researchers say the same thing in different words — a yes isn't a possession you keep, it's a reading you retake. That's doubly true when the subject is a body changing over months. The cadence does something subtler too: it makes the conversation ordinary. When "how are we, really?" happens every few weeks by appointment, raising a wobble stops being a confrontation and becomes a calendar item — which is exactly how the hard thing gets said while it's still small.
After you've both answered, the tool compares three ways. Between you: a large gap on any item — or opposite directions on pace — raises a flag with a conversation starter written for that specific item. Within you: if your own answer dropped noticeably since your last check-in, that movement gets flagged even if you and your partner currently agree — drift from yourself matters as much as drift from each other. The unsaid: a dedicated question asks whether something's gone unspoken; answering "yes" or "maybe" flags it without making anyone say the thing on the spot. What the tool never does is score your relationship, decide who's right, or remember anything beyond this browser. If the same flag returns check-in after check-in, that's your sign the understanding itself needs renegotiating — the Agreement Builder is the room for that — and persistent flags on pressure or the freedom to say no deserve a kink-aware professional sooner rather than later.
Often enough that nothing has time to calcify — for most couples that's somewhere between weekly and monthly, and the tool lets you pick. The honest rule: the more actively bodies or dynamics are changing, the shorter the cadence. A couple in an active gaining phase has more moving parts than one whose play is stable, so their yes needs re-checking more often.
Because answers given side by side contaminate each other. When one partner says "the pace feels great" first, the second partner's "actually, a bit fast" costs more to say — so it often doesn't get said. Answering separately, then comparing, gets both honest readings onto the table before either can adjust to the other. The handoff screen hides the first partner's answers until you've both finished.
An invitation, not a verdict. Flags appear where your scores sit far apart, where you pull opposite directions on pace, where something's marked unsaid, or where someone's own answer dropped since last time. Each comes with a specific conversation starter. One flag handled kindly this week is the entire point of the tool.
No. Everything runs in your browser and nothing is transmitted. History lives only on the device you use — so use the same one each time for the over-time view. The optional calendar reminder is generated on your device too, with a deliberately discreet title: no kink words in your calendar.
A flag that survives three check-ins isn't a conversation anymore — it's a negotiation that hasn't happened. Renegotiate the understanding itself with the Agreement Builder, and if it keeps not-resolving — especially around pressure or the freedom to say no — bring in a kink-aware professional.