FEEDERISM.ORGFree tool · 10–15 min, alone

The Conversation Planner

This one is for you — the partner. Maybe they told you and you've been carrying it since. Maybe you found something you weren't meant to find. Maybe you've just been noticing. Whichever it is: your footing comes first. This tool doesn't recruit you, doesn't judge them, and doesn't assume how the story ends. It helps you plan one honest conversation — your questions, your ground rules, your pace.

For adults 18+ · A planning aid — staying, compromising, and leaving are all valid endings.

Runs entirely in your browser Nothing is uploaded, ever On your side of the table, always

What you're allowed to need

Before any conversation about someone else's kink, it helps to hear three things said plainly. Your unease is information, not overreaction — if something has been happening around food and your body that you never explicitly agreed to, the missing piece is consent, and wanting it named is not prudishness. Your body is not a negotiation. Whatever their interest means, your weight, your eating, and your comfort remain entirely yours; a partner worth keeping treats that as obvious. And you don't owe enthusiasm. The generous version of you might want to understand, even try things — the honest version might not. Both are allowed, and this tool works for both.

If you're still at the "is this what I think it is?" stage, the Is My Partner a Feeder? quiz reads the patterns, and our guide walks the whole question. If you already know, and what you need is the conversation — you're in the right place.

For adults 18+. If you feel afraid of your partner — of their anger, their reaction to a no, or what saying the wrong thing might cost — that changes the assignment: your safety outranks any conversation plan. Support resources, including people who understand coercive control.