You've noticed something around food, your body, or both, and you're not sure what it means. This is a place to organize what you've actually seen. It is not a surveillance tool, and it cannot diagnose anyone; what it can do is tell you how strong the pattern is, and how ready the two of you are to talk about it.
For adults 18+ · A reflective self-understanding tool — not a diagnosis.
Somewhere between the third unprompted dessert and a compliment that landed oddly, a question formed: is my partner a feeder? A feeder is someone for whom feeding a partner, and often a partner's fullness or weight gain, carries a special charge, sometimes romantic, often erotic. Because the interest is heavily stigmatised, many feeders keep it private for years, expressing it only sideways: generous plates, stocked snacks, warmth that spikes at the table. This reflection organises what you've actually observed into two readings: how strongly the classic pattern fits, and how openly the two of you can talk about it. That second reading matters more. An acknowledged food-kink is something couples routinely negotiate happily; an unspoken one quietly borrows your body for a story you never agreed to be in.
Built from our full guide, Is My Boyfriend a Feeder?, and the consent framework in our relationship guide.
Twenty observations, answered no / sometimes / yes from what you've actually seen. Fourteen measure the classic markers across food-centred attention, body-change attention, and charged reactions; six measure how openly the topic can be raised between you. You get a two-axis reading, the strength of the pattern against the openness of the channel, plus conversation starters matched to your specific answers. Two statements describe consent problems rather than kink markers; if you answer yes to those, the result says so before anything else. Your answers stay on this page; we count anonymous completions only.
A non-personalised overview of every result this tool can return. Take the reflection above for your own.
All 20 statements, answered on a 3-point scale. Some are reverse-worded on purpose.
No, and be wary of anything that claims otherwise. It's a structured way to organise your observations. Several markers together make the pattern more plausible, but only an honest conversation can actually answer the question, and the quiz is designed to hand you into that conversation well.
A feeder is someone who experiences feeding a partner, and often the partner's fullness or weight gain, as emotionally or erotically charged. The receiving partner is called a feedee. The interest ranges from a mild bedroom fantasy to a central part of a relationship, and everything in this range can be practised consensually or pushed without consent. The consent is the moral line, not the interest.
The interest itself is not. Research on feederism consistently finds the same split: practised in the open between consenting adults it functions like other kinks, while practised covertly it becomes a consent violation regardless of how mild it looks. If your partner is a feeder, the meaningful question is not 'how do I fix them' but 'can this be honest, and where are my limits?'
Don't call them a liar, and don't keep prosecuting the label. Shift from what it's called to what you need: 'Whatever we call it, I need my plate and my body to be mine to decide.' A partner can decline your theory; they don't get to decline your boundary. If the behaviour still doesn't change, that tells you what the denial was worth.
Covertly adding food or calories to what someone eats is a consent violation, full stop; done persistently, researchers class it with coercive-control behaviours. It doesn't automatically mean your whole relationship is abusive, but it does mean this behaviour has to stop and be talked about, not smoothed over. If confronting it feels unsafe, or the pressure has a pattern, see our support resources.
No. Your answers stay in your browser and are never stored or sent anywhere; we count anonymous completions only. If you choose to save your result to a free account at the end, the saved result is visible only to that account.