How to Please Your Feeder Boyfriend: The Ultimate Guide

Dating a man who gets turned on by feeding you and watching you gain weight can be a wild, intensely erotic ride. This kink, known as feederism, mixes food, fat, and sexual pleasure in ways that can deepen intimacy and trust. While it isn’t exactly run-of-the-mill arousal, a feeding fetish is far from unheard of reddit.com – and if you’re a cisgender woman with a cis male feeder partner, there are countless ways to stoke his desire while embracing your own indulgence. This comprehensive guide offers bold, honest tips – from what to wear to how to move – so you can erotically engage your feeder boyfriend on every level.

“I want a lazy girl who I can bake for and rub her belly and treat her like a fat queen… Despite being vegan, I get turned on by the idea of a girl drinking heavy cream.” fiercefatty.com – one feeder’s confession.

Feederism is unique because it involves both physical and psychological turn-ons. Many feeders are aroused by the visuals of a growing belly, the sensations of softness and fullness, and the power dynamic of nurturing (or controlling) their partner’s growth sniffieshush.com. Feeders often describe a mix of caring and dominance – “almost like a pleasure dom”, as one source puts it sniffieshush.com. What does this mean for you? It means that every little thing – from the way you talk about food to the clothes you wear – can become a sexual trigger that drives him wild. Below, we delve into a massive variety of specific suggestions, all grounded in real experiences, fetish community insights, and a bit of kink psychology.

Whether you secretly love the kink too or are just genuinely interested in pleasing him, these tips will help you tap into what arouses feeders. Let’s unleash your inner feedee goddess and make his fantasy your new form of foreplay.

Understanding Feederism: Psychology of Erotic Weight Gain

Explore feederism, a sexual fetish involving feeding and weight gain. Learn about its neuroscience, psychological roots, health risks, and personal dynamics.

Feederism.orgClair Horwell

Dress for Indulgence: Clothing & Visuals that Drive Him Crazy

Your clothing can be a huge turn-on for a feeder. Many men with this fetish go wild for outfits that emphasize your expanded curves or the process of outgrowing your wardrobe. Wearing clothes that highlight your growing belly is one of the simplest ways to push his buttons. Here are some wardrobe ideas to tantalize him:

• Squeeze into Something Too Tight: Pull out an old top or pair of jeans from before you gained a few pounds and surprise him by wearing it. If it’s slightly too small – your belly pushing out, buttons straining – it creates an incredibly erotic visual of your growth. In one real story, a woman’s feeder boyfriend “loved [her] to wear super tight clothes”, even a tiny shirt from her teen years that was so snug her breasts bulged over the top inkl.com. Seeing you in a tight, form-hugging outfit that you almost burst out of will instantly make him hot. It’s a physical confirmation of the weight you’ve gained for him, and feeders are extremely aroused by that progress inkl.com. He might not resist grabbing the exposed love handles or soft flesh spilling out – and that’s exactly the point!
• Accentuate the Belly: Choose dresses or tops that show off your midsection. Crop tops, knotted shirts, or lingerie that leave your tummy visible give him a direct view of his favorite feature. Even a simple stretchy tank one size too small can frame your belly deliciously. Many feeders are intensely visual; a rounded belly on display is basically lingerie to them. You can even playfully pat or rub your stomach through the fabric during dinner to draw his eye. Knowing he’s sneaking peeks at how snug your dress has become over your belly can be a huge turn-on for both of you.
• Outfit Changes & “Before/After” Tease: If you really want to blow his mind, incorporate an outfit change into your date. For example, start dinner in something moderately fitted. After you’ve eaten to your (or his) content, excuse yourself and return wearing an even tighter outfit or the same outfit but now with a popped button or raised shirt showing your belly. Watching your clothes get tighter as you get fuller and softer is basically live erotica for a feeder. He will notice the change – maybe your zipper can’t go all the way up or your belly is now peeking out under your top – and it will set him on fire. Feeder fantasy often involves the idea of a partner growing out of her clothes; you can roleplay that in a single evening.
• Lingerie & Roleplay Costumes: Don’t underestimate the power of lingerie that celebrates your size. A lacy bra and panty set that digs slightly into your flesh can create sexy slight bulges that he’ll want to trace with his tongue. Bodystockings or teddies in plus sizes can hug your curves and emphasize jiggles when you move. If you two enjoy a bit of playful roleplay, consider costumes that fit the fetish: for example, a sexy piglet look (cute pig ears headband with pink lingerie) to humorously embody his “greedy little piggy,” or an overflowing “milkmaid” dress if he likes the idea of farm-style fattening. It’s cheeky and fun, and you can both laugh while still indulging the kink.
• Everyday Teases: Even outside the bedroom, you can turn ordinary clothing into a teasing tool. Wear a snug pencil skirt to the office and text him at lunch that it’s “so tight after that big meal, I might burst!”. Or put on his T-shirt at home – one that barely fits over your chest and tummy – and let him see how stretched it looks. These subtle visual cues during daily life keep his feeder imagination constantly engaged. He’ll be thinking about peeling those too-tight clothes off you and seeing the evidence of his influence on your body.

Why this works: Feeders eroticize growth. Tight clothes are basically proof of growth – a visual manifestation of the weight you’ve gained inkl.com. Seeing you struggle into a snug outfit or deliberately flaunt how “big” you’ve gotten hits all the right psychological buttons. It makes him feel accomplished (he helped make you curvier) and it’s also a bit of a taboo thrill – most people hide weight gain, but here you are showing it off just for him. The result? He’s likely to be instantly aroused and eager to praise, touch, and take you. As one feedee recalls, “During sex, he’d jiggle my belly and wobble my thighs. ‘Look at how big you’re getting!’ he’d exclaim. ‘God, you are so hot and sexy.’” inkl.com – tight clothes help create those moments of uncontrollable desire.

Talk the Talk: Dirty Talk, Teasing & Voice Tone

What you say and how you say it can be incredibly erotic to a feeder. This fetish has its own delicious vocabulary – words like “stuffed,” “piggy,” “glutton,” “belly,” and “big girl” can send shivers down his spine if used in the right context. Don’t be shy about talking dirty in feederism terms; showing you understand his kink linguistically is a huge turn-on. Here’s how to use bedroom language and tone to tantalize him:

• Use Fetish Keywords in Dirty Talk: Pepper your sexy talk with words that reflect eating and growing. For instance, during foreplay or sex, you can moan things like “I’m so stuffed right now… I ate so much for you” or “Do you like your greedy piggy this full, baby?”. If calling yourself a “piggy” or “fat girl” feels empowering and sexy to you, go for it – many feeders love a bit of consensual degradation kink, where you revel in naughty labels. On the other hand, you can also use praising language: “I want to be your good girl and finish every bite” or “I love how you take care of your growing queen.” The contrast of sweet endearments like “queen” or “goddess” with the explicit mention of growing fatter can really hit the mark, because it tells him you know you’re getting bigger and you know he loves it.
• Encourage Him Verbally: Feeders often get intensely aroused by encouragement. This typically goes one way (him encouraging you to eat more), but flip the script and encourage how much he is turned on. For example, while rubbing your bloated belly, whisper “Don’t you want to feed me just a little more? I can take it…” or “Come on, is that all you’ve got? I bet you’d love to see me even fatter.” Challenge him teasingly: “I think you want to see me burst out of these panties, don’t you?” in a sultry tone. By voicing the unspoken desires out loud, you’re basically narrating his fantasy – extremely erotic for him. It shows confidence and full buy-in on your part, which is like catnip to a fetishist.
• Teasing and Humiliation Play: If your dynamic is open to a bit of playful humiliation (consensual, of course), you can use a mock-scolding tone with a smile: “You’ve turned me into such a glutton, haven’t you? I just can’t stop eating…” or “I was going to be good today, but you just had to spoil me, now look at this belly! What have you done?” said with a giggle while shaking your tummy. He’ll likely respond with excitement, praise, or by egging you on further (“Yes, and I’m going to make you even bigger!”). Another angle: let him take the verbal lead and you respond. If he calls you his “little piggy” or says “keep eating, I want that belly even bigger,” echo it back: “Yes, I’ll be your piggy.” This kind of dirty talk, where he might even tell you to “oink” for him, taps directly into dominance/submission (more on that later) and can be highly erotic if you’re both into it. (In one feeder erotica scene, the feeder growls commands like “Keep eating… Keep being greedy. And keep submitting to your feeder… Now oink for me.” tumblr.com tumblr.com Such extreme language isn’t for everyone, but it illustrates just how intense feeder dirty talk can get!)
• Voice Tone and Volume: How you speak those words matters too. Use a sultry, low tone when whispering temptations in his ear – maybe at a restaurant, purr “I can’t wait for you to rub my belly later” in that bedroom voice. Alternatively, during a feeding session at home, you might adopt a more innocent, girlish tone to beg for more: “Please, sir, may I have another?” (cheeky Oliver Twist reference, but sexualized). If you’re going for dominance, keep your voice firm and commanding when you say “Bring me another slice of cake, slave” (if that roleplay appeals). The key is to embody a persona – whether it’s the eager-to-please feedee, the bratty glutton, or the belly-praising goddess – and let your voice amplify the fantasy. Also pay attention to non-verbal sounds: pleasurable moans while eating, heavy breathing when you’re stuffed, even slight burps (if you’re comfortable – one Tumblr feeder cheekily noted, “Don’t hold in your burps… I find them really cute” quantativeeasing-stuff.tumblr.com). Those sounds signal to him that you’re truly indulging and at ease being unapologetically full, which is a huge turn-on.
• Reaffirm His Desires: Every so often, explicitly acknowledge his kink in your speech. Say things like “I love how it turns you on to see me eat” or “I know you want me to grow for you”. During sex, you could gasp “Touch me where I’m getting fat” as a naughty instruction. These phrases show that you see him and accept his fetish completely. It can melt away any lingering shame he has and replace it with pure lust and appreciation for you. Many feeders are absolutely thrilled when their partner not only tolerates but talks through the fetish. Hearing you talk about weight, food, and his arousal all in one sentence might make him climax on the spot.

Why this works: Words have power – especially in a fetish that’s as psychological as feederism. By using feeder-themed language, you’re validating and participating in his fantasy world. For a feeder, hearing “I’m so stuffed” in a breathy moan is as erotic as hearing “I’m so horny” – because for him, those two are linked. The psychological effect is strong: dirty talk that references eating and gaining reinforces that he’s in control (if he’s the dom type) and that you’re happily surrendering to gluttony. It also feeds (pun intended) his sense of responsibility and pride in fattening you up. One woman noted that as she got bigger, her boyfriend would exclaim “God, you are so hot and sexy” while praising how “big” she was getting inkl.com – the verbal affirmation made her feel sexy, and it spurred him on. In short, talking openly and erotically about the kink brings it out of the shadows and into your sex life with full force, heightening arousal for you both.

Sensual Feeding Rituals & Meal Setups

For a feeder and feedee, mealtimes are foreplay. Turning an ordinary dinner into an erotic feeding ritual can send sexual tension through the roof. It’s not just what you eat, but how you present and structure the experience. Creating deliberate “feeding scenes” taps into the fetish in a focused way. Here are some ideas for meal setups and rituals that can arouse him before the first bite is even taken:

• The Stuffing Date Night: Plan an evening where the sole goal is to get you deliciously full. Cook or order an excess of rich, decadent foods – all your favorites and his. Set the table with a romantic vibe: candles, maybe soft music, plus an array of dishes that clearly is more than two people should reasonably eat. The abundance itself is a turn-on (it screams gluttony). Make a little ceremony of it: he serves you plate after plate, or you teasingly say “More, please,” each time you finish a portion. Knowing that this dinner’s purpose is specifically to indulge until you’re stuffed will excite the feeder in him. He’ll be watching you with lust as you gradually slow down, rub your belly, and still manage another few bites because you both want that overfull state. To a feeder, this scenario is basically a live sex show. Tip: Wear something that can transition easily from dinner to bedroom, because you will be pounced on once you’re groaning with fullness.
• Play “Server” and “Feedee”: Incorporate a bit of roleplay into the meal. Perhaps you sit back like a pampered queen while he plays the attentive waiter or chef. He brings you each course, describing it indulgently (“Fattening fettuccine Alfredo with extra cream, just how madame likes it…”) and actually feeding you by hand or fork. Being fed morsels directly can feel very intimate – you’re literally surrendering control of your food intake to him, bite by bite. Make eye contact and chew slowly, maybe even sensually sucking on his fingers if he offers them. This direct feeding act is super erotic to a feeder; it’s nurturing and controlling at once. He is actively fulfilling his fetish in the moment, and you can see how much it turns him on. (Don’t be surprised if he has to adjust himself in his pants while pushing that last bite of cake between your lips.)
• The Decadent Dessert Ritual: Many feeders have a sweet tooth for seeing their partner indulge in desserts. After a normal dinner, you can introduce a special dessert ritual. For example: bring out an entire cake or a tray of cupcakes and challenge yourself (with his encouragement) to eat as much as you can. Take it slow and erotic – maybe you’re eating with your hands, licking frosting off your fingers while he watches, or off his fingers. You can even incorporate the dessert with your body: smear a bit of whipped cream on your chest or belly and let him lick it off as a reward for you taking another bite. This merges food play with sexual touch. It’s messy, yes, but that’s part of the fun. “You’ve been eating very sloppily recently, haven’t you babe?” one feeder might teasingly say quantativeeasing-stuff.tumblr.com – and to him it’s cute. Embrace a little mess; a dab of chocolate at the corner of your mouth or a spill of ice cream on your cleavage gives him the chance to clean you up… with his tongue.
• Measuring & Weigh-In Games: Turn the meal into a lighthearted science experiment for his kink. Before starting, step on the scale together or have him measure the circumference of your belly. Then, after the feast (and maybe mid-way if you take a break), do it again – see the number go up! Many feeders are wildly aroused by concrete evidence of weight gain, even temporary food baby weight. In one account, a feeder would “weigh [her] before and after a meal to see if [she]’d gained anything” inkl.com and absolutely loved noting those extra pounds. You can make this sexy by placing his hand on your belly as he reads the scale, saying something like, “Look, I gained 3 pounds for you tonight.” The idea that his efforts (and your indulgence) translated into real weight – even if it’s mostly the weight of dinner – can send a feeder into ecstasy. If you don’t have a scale handy, measuring tape around your tummy, or even trying on a “control” item of clothing (say, pants that were already tight) post-meal to see how far they won’t button now, can have a similar effect. It’s a ritualistic way of celebrating the gain, which is what feederism is all about.
• Comfort Feast Setup: Create an ultra-cozy environment for a lazy stuffing session. Think: an array of snacks and takeout on the coffee table, you in just comfy underwear or pajamas, nestled among pillows. You two binge-watch a show or some gainer videos while you also binge on food. He’s rubbing your back or belly as you mindlessly nibble and nosh. This setup plays into the “lazy and getting fatter” fantasy. One feeder on a blog imagined telling his partner “we don’t need to go out… stay here and play video games, even if you did look really cute with your fat spilling out of your dress” quantativeeasing-stuff.tumblr.com – encouraging a cozy night in to indulge. The vibe here is soft domination: he’s facilitating you letting go of any restrictions. No diets, no manners, just pleasure. By the end of the night, you’re surrounded by empty cartons, feeling heavy and drowsy – and he’s extremely turned on by the sight of you in total food bliss. He may carry you to bed (if you can move!) and make slow, stuffed love to you.

Why this works: Structured rituals around feeding turn eating – something everyday – into an erotic event. For feeders, a lot of the arousal comes from the process of you getting fuller and fatter, not just the end result. By ritualizing it, you’re both savoring that process more consciously. It builds anticipation (the way setting up a BDSM scene would). The act of feeding someone is intimate and can be deeply dominant or caring (or both). When you allow him to feed you, or you intentionally eat more than you normally would under his eager gaze, you’re basically performing a shared kink act. Psychologically, this validates his role as the feeder – he’s literally causing pleasure by giving you food. Little additions like weigh-ins or calling out how much was eaten add concrete fetish fuel (numbers, visuals, mess) that reinforce the fantasy. As one couple experienced, “he’d rub my belly as I ate” and heap on praise for every new kilo inkl.com – turning dinner into a sensual celebration of growth. These rituals make feederism a tangible, lived experience, not just a fantasy, heightening arousal and intimacy.

Indulgent Eating Habits That Turn Him On

How you actually eat in front of your feeder partner can be incredibly erotic. For most people, table manners and restraint are polite – but in feeder play, gluttony and gusto are sexy. Embracing a more uninhibited, sensual eating style signals to him that you’re fully indulging in the experience, which is exactly what he wants. Consider these tips for eating in a way that arouses him:

• Eat with Enthusiasm: There’s nothing sexier to a feeder than seeing you genuinely enjoy food without hesitation. Let yourself revel in the flavors. Take big bites of that burger, make little “Mmm” sounds as you taste something delicious, close your eyes in pleasure when you sip a rich milkshake. This kind of performative enjoyment is a huge turn-on because it shows you’re not shy about indulging. If you want to ramp it up, occasionally eat a bit faster or with slight abandon – like someone who can’t wait to fill her belly. Perhaps once in a while you even talk with a tiny bit of food in your mouth (nothing too crude, but enough to show you’re not bothering to be perfectly prim). The key is to telegraph uninhibited appetite. Your feeder boyfriend will be watching with a racing heart, thinking “She’s really letting go, she needs this food”, which feeds directly into his fantasy of you as insatiable.
• Sensual Savoring: On the flip side, you can also seduce him by eating slow and sensual when the moment calls for it. Take a long lick of ice cream or dripping sauce from your fingers, suck slowly on a piece of fruit or a forkful of cake as you pull it out of your mouth. Make eye contact and smile naughtily as you do this. It’s almost fellatio-like in its teasing, and it blurs the line between eating and erotic pleasure. You’re basically saying “Watching me eat is foreplay – I know it, and I’m going to make you squirm with desire.” Switching between this slow teasing and the more “greedy” style can drive him crazy: one moment you’re a temptress savoring every bite, the next you’re a glutton stuffing your mouth. Both personas cater to feederism fantasies – the fetish has elements of both sensuality (the physical pleasure of taste and fullness) and loss of control (eating past limits). Show him all sides of your appetite.
• Allow a Little Mess: Typically, being messy is a no-no socially, but here a bit of mess can be provocative. If some frosting ends up on your lips or chin, don’t wipe it off right away – let him see it. He might find it adorable and sexy that you’re so into eating you don’t mind a mess. In fact, lean into it: purposely get a dab of whipped cream on the corner of your mouth and then playfully ask, “Oops, did I make a mess? Will you get it for me?” That invites him to lean in and kiss-lick it off you. You can also finger-lick openly – after finishing some greasy finger food, slowly suck each finger clean while looking at him. This can literally make him groan out loud with arousal. According to one feeder’s fantasy script, noticing a partner’s sloppy habits is “really cute” and worth a soft tease quantativeeasing-stuff.tumblr.com – it highlights that she’s letting herself go. The psychology here is that a bit of mess signals comfort and abandon. You’re not worried about propriety; you’re focused on pleasure. That aligns perfectly with feederism’s ethos.
• Express Your Fullness – Vocally and Physically: As you get full, don’t hide it. Lean back, put a hand on your belly, maybe unbutton your pants with a dramatic sigh. Say things like “Oh my god, I’m so full” with a satisfied smile. Feederism eroticizes fullness – that uncomfortable, bloated feeling for you is actually a huge turn-on for him (in the kink it’s often called a “stuffed belly”). If you let out a small burp, giggle and say “Excuse me… that’s your fault for making me so full!” while patting your tummy. Believe it or not, some feeders consider a burp or you saying you need to loosen your belt as sexy as a striptease – it means mission accomplished. One soft-dom feeder line went, “You don’t need to hold in your burps around me… I find them really cute.” quantativeeasing-stuff.tumblr.com This underscores that nothing about indulgence disgusts him. To the contrary, those little signs that you’ve eaten to capacity can really fire him up. He might immediately reach over to rub your swollen belly as relief (and arousal for him). Which brings us to…
• Invite Belly Play While Eating: Don’t wait until after the meal to integrate touching. As you slow down from fullness, grab his hand and place it on your midriff. Say “Feel how tight my belly is getting?” This merges the act of eating with sexual touch, reinforcing to him (and you) that it’s a turn-on. Some couples even incorporate small pauses where the feeder massages the feedee’s stomach to help them make room for more – it’s practical and erotic. You can moan softly during the rub and say it feels so good. This will encourage him to keep feeding you because he sees you deriving sensual pleasure from the fullness. It becomes a feedback loop: the fuller you get, the more he caresses and excites you, which might encourage you to eat a bit more. Just make sure you stay comfortable and communicate if you truly can’t take another bite. The goal is mutual fun, not pain. But slight over-fullness is okay to endure if it leads to hot sex after – many feedees actually start associating that stuffed feeling with arousal (conditioning is real!).
• Try Gainer Shakes or Cream in Front of Him: If you’re open to it, incorporate some high-calorie indulgences as their own act. For instance, drinking a heavy cream shake or a weight gain shake while he watches can be surprisingly erotic. It’s so blatantly for the purpose of gaining weight that it hits a kink bullseye. “Despite being vegan, I get turned on by the idea of a girl drinking heavy cream,” one conflicted feeder admitted fiercefatty.com – because heavy cream is basically a symbol of fattening up. You could stage a little event: you’ve got a pint of heavy cream or a super-rich gainer shake (there are recipes online with ice cream, peanut butter, etc.), and you gulp it down while he encourages you. Maybe drizzle some on your breasts for him to lick, or let a little spill out of the corner of your mouth as you chug (mess + gluttony combined). This is a fairly hardcore move in feederism, so don’t do it if it grosses you out. But if you’re game, it can be a huge turn-on for him to see you willingly consuming something just to get bigger. It’s like fetish fuel concentrate. And you might find it dirty-hot to basically say through actions, “I’m actively trying to be fatter for you.”

Why this works: Feederism is as much about the act of eating as it is about the fat. The fetishistic excitement peaks when you are in the throes of indulgence. By changing your eating demeanor from polite or diet-conscious to uninhibited and sensual, you become the embodiment of his fantasy: a woman who is unapologetically gluttonous and turned on by it. Psychologically, this is huge for a feeder. It’s one thing for him to want you to eat; it’s another for you to visibly revel in it. It creates a positive feedback loop – he feels appreciated and aroused, you feel his excitement and become aroused too. Being a bit messy or vocal signals that you’re comfortable shedding social norms for him. It’s a form of intimacy and trust: you trust that he finds your unrestrained self sexy, which he absolutely does. Remember, many feeders fall in love not just with big bodies but with the behaviors of indulgence – the way your eyes light up at a big meal, the cute wiggle you do when you taste something amazing, the satisfied burp after. All these little habits are extremely erotic triggers for someone into this fetish. Embrace them, and you’ll likely find that you start getting turned on by your own eating performances too, especially when you see how he reacts.

Body Movements & Angles: Show off those Curves

In feederism, how you position and move your body can make a big difference in how arousing the moment is. Certain angles highlight a plush belly or thick thighs better, and certain movements (like a belly jiggle) can send a feeder’s pulse racing. Here are ways to use posture, poses, and motion to tantalize him visually:

• Arch and Stretch to Display Your Belly: When you’re feeling flirty, do a big overhead stretch in front of him, like you’re unwittingly showing off. This action naturally arches your back and pushes your tummy forward. Your shirt might ride up, or the outline of your belly becomes obvious. Give a satisfied little sigh as you finish the stretch. You’ve just presented your growing curves on a platter! Another move: stand on your tiptoes or reach for something high up (maybe “accidentally” when he’s behind you). This can make any tight top pull up and expose a band of midriff. These casual “oops, my belly is showing” moments drive feeders crazy because it feels spontaneous and revealing. He’s likely to come up and hug you from behind, hands sneaking to your stomach.
• Play with Jiggle and Bounce: If you have a particularly full belly after a meal, you can make it jiggle a bit for him. For example, stand and let your belly relax (no sucking in), then gently shake your hips side to side – your tummy and chest will wobble enticingly. You could even lightly grab your belly with both hands and wobble it, asking with a coy smile, “Think this is jiggly enough, or should you feed me more?”. The sight of actively jiggling flesh is hypnotic to many feeders – it emphasizes softness and weight. During sex, certain positions maximize jiggle: riding on top (cowgirl) will have your breasts and belly bouncing up and down rhythmically. If you know he loves that visual, take charge and ride him while fully nude or in a bra so he can see everything move. Grind in a circular motion, then bounce faster, and watch his eyes glaze over at the physics of your curves in motion. He may very well finish with an ecstatic grab of your hips and belly.
• Positioning During Feeding: When eating together (especially during a dedicated stuffing session), think about posture. Sitting up straight can eventually be uncomfortable when super full, but at least at the start, sitting upright with a proud posture sticks your belly out a bit. As you get full, you might lean back – which makes your belly protrude even more prominently. You could even lie back on a sofa after a huge meal, belly high and tight, and invite him to straddle or kneel beside you to rub it. Another idea: sit sideways on his lap while you eat dessert, so he has a profile view of your belly. Profiles are fantastic for showing growth; he’ll see the curve in stark relief from the side. You can lean against him, resting your head on his shoulder as you lazily bring spoonfuls to your mouth, and he’s peeking down at the side of your belly pushing against your dress. That side angle might just become his favorite mental image.
• All Fours & Other Sexy Poses: In the bedroom (or living room floor, wherever), consider positions that accentuate thickness. Going on all fours (like doggy style position) not only makes your butt and hips the star, but your belly will also hang a bit – especially if it’s gained weight. He might love taking you from behind and watching that belly sway with each thrust, or reaching around to feel it swing. You can enhance this by deliberately dropping your belly a little lower and picking it up (a subtle movement, almost like twerking but with your midsection). If you feel extra sassy, you could even crawl toward him on all fours during foreplay, with a sultry look, which is a very submissive, “take me” gesture that showcases your body. Side-lying positions are great too: if you lie on your side and he takes you from behind (spooning style), your belly and breast will be visible in profile, jiggling with the motion. You can guide one of his hands to grab your top thigh (feeling the thickness) and the other to cup your breast or belly as he moves.
• Show Off in Mirrors or Camera: Sometimes giving him a different visual perspective heightens things. Try having sex in front of a mirror so he can see your bodies from new angles – perhaps he’ll catch the reflection of your tummy bouncing or how your body completely cushions him. Or, set up a camera (if you’re both comfortable with it) to record a particularly indulgent feeding or lovemaking session. Knowing it’s being filmed might encourage you to exaggerate movements a bit for the camera (sway those hips, rub that belly). Later, you two can even watch the footage together as a kinky “home video,” which lets him enjoy those visuals all over again. It also shows you how he sees you – and you might discover, wow, the way your body moves really is sexy.

Why this works: Movement and posture directly influence the visual stimuli a feeder gets. Remember, many feeders are highly visual – the sight of flesh in motion or from a flattering angle can be almost overwhelming in its erotic power. When you showcase your belly or make it jiggle, you’re emphasizing what he loves: softness, weight, the physical evidence of your shared indulgence. It’s one thing to see a still belly, but a jiggling belly really underscores its softness and heft – it’s a living, moving confirmation of your size. Psychologically, seeing you use your body confidently this way (“Look at what I’ve grown for you, watch it bounce”) reassures him that you’re comfortable with your body and his enjoyment of it. Positions that let him grasp your added weight (like you on top or you sitting on him) also give a tactile sense of heaviness, which can fulfill a feeder’s craving to feel that you’re heavier. One woman described how her boyfriend loved to “jiggle my belly and wobble my thighs” during sex inkl.com – movement was integral to his arousal. By consciously using angles and motions that highlight your curves, you turn your body into a visual feast, matching the food feasts he gives you. It’s an incredibly erotic form of body confidence and collaboration in the fetish.

Touch and Physical Gestures: The Language of Hands

Touch is a universal erotic language, but in feederism, certain types of touch become supercharged with meaning. Your partner likely adores touching the soft, newly padded parts of you – and you can use touch to tease or reward him. Likewise, how you touch him (or let him feel your weight) can light his fire. Here’s how to make the most of physical contact and gestures:

• Guide His Hands: Don’t wait for him to always make the first move in touching – take his hands and put them where you want them. In the middle of eating, you might grab his hand and place it on your stomach, pressing it into your fullness. During a kiss, you can slide his hands from your waist directly onto your hips or butt, silently saying “I know you want to feel this.” By guiding him, you remove any hesitance or guesswork. It’s a bold way of showing I want you to touch my fat. The effect on him will be immediate; you’ll likely hear a change in his breathing or a little groan. Feeling the warm, soft rolls or bulges under his fingers is the tactile equivalent of visual arousal. He might start instinctively squeezing or massaging – let him! Encourage it with a sultry whisper: “Harder… I love how you grab me.” This not only turns him on but can feel really good for you, like a dirty massage.
• Belly Rubs & Soft Caresses: One signature move in feeder couples is the belly rub. It can be tender or sexual or both. Next time you’re cuddling, take his hand and slowly rub it in circles on your tummy. Close your eyes and purr to let him know it feels nice. Feederism has a nurturing side – a feeder often wants to comfort his overstuffed lover by rubbing her belly, and at the same time, it arouses him. Tell him in a sweet voice, “Your belly rubs feel so good, I could get used to being spoiled like this.” He’ll likely melt and also pop a boner simultaneously. After a huge meal, lay your head in his lap or on the couch and let him gently knead your swollen stomach; it’s intimate and erotic. According to one real account, the boyfriend “praised me for each kilo gained… If we’d had a big dinner, he’d rub my belly as I ate” inkl.com – it was absolutely part of their sexual bonding. You’ll probably find that a belly rub when you’re full can actually start to turn into foreplay naturally, as his strokes get firmer or lower. Go with it.
• Hand-Feeding Him a Bite: Physical gestures can also show reciprocation. Even if he’s not a feedee, offering him a bite in the middle of feeding you can be very sweet and sexy. For instance, while you’re in the middle of devouring a cupcake, take a bit between your fingers and playfully feed it to him, then kiss the crumbs off his lips. This does two things: it makes him part of the messy fun, and it underlines that feeding each other is an act of intimacy. Some feeders get turned on watching their partner eat, but also by the sensuality of food in general – sharing tastes can feel like sharing an erotic secret. He might also enjoy the symbolism: you giving him pleasure from food, when most of the time it’s him doing it for you. Next time he’s feeding you grapes or fries, suddenly pop one into his mouth with a mischievous grin. Likely he’ll chuckle and then kiss you – tasting the food on each other’s tongues.
• Use Your Weight: Don’t underestimate how sexy your body weight itself can be. For instance, sit on his lap while he’s on the couch. Scoot back so your cushy butt and thighs envelop him a bit. Wiggle and let your weight settle; maybe bounce lightly once or twice. If he’s a typical feeder type, this will both arouse him and give a sense of pride (he likes that you’re heavy). You can lean in and kiss his neck while you do this, which usually drives men wild anyway. Or straddle him in a chair so he feels the heaviness of your thighs around him. Some feeders even have a thing for being “crushed” or pinned down by a larger partner (a kink known as squashing). You can explore gentle versions of this: during foreplay, push him onto the bed and lie on top of him full-length, playfully saying you’ve “got him trapped.” The feeling of your full weight pressing him into the mattress, your soft belly and breasts pancaked against his chest, can be insanely erotic to someone who loves big bodies. Check in that he’s comfortable (he probably is too busy grinning). You can hold his wrists down (power move!) and make out, grinding a little. He’ll feel surrounded and dominated by your softness – likely a fantasy come true.
• Non-Sexual Affection That Teases: Little physical gestures throughout the day can also keep the sexual tension simmering. For example, when you hug him, press your body in a bit extra so he feels the plushness of your breasts and tummy against him. When parting, give him a flirty butt squeeze to remind him what he’s growing. If you’re standing together in public, you can take his hand and tuck it into the back pocket of your jeans – which might be a snug fit – effectively making him aware of your curves in a naughtily public way. Even the classic move of coming up behind him and wrapping your arms around him, then guiding his hands to rest on your belly as you both look out the window or something. These gentle gestures say “I know you love touching me, here’s an invitation.” They cost nothing and can happen anytime, fueling his desire constantly.

Why this works: Physical touch is immediate and visceral. For feeders, touching the soft fat of their partner is often the pinnacle of arousal – it’s literally feeling their fantasy fulfilled. When you actively encourage or intensify that touch, it’s like throwing gasoline on a fire. It tells him you’re not embarrassed by your fat or his fascination with it; on the contrary, you enjoy it. This removes any psychological barriers and allows him to fully immerse in the sensation. The example of the woman whose boyfriend kept photos of her gains and “would grab [her] love handles… and pat [her] belly” during intimacy inkl.com shows that feeders want to grab and feel those parts. So let him, and show that you love it too. Using your weight (sitting on him, pinning him) can also feed into any dominance/submission dynamic – it’s a twist where your softness is actually the tool of power. Many men find being enveloped by a woman’s body extremely erotic, fetish or not. For a feeder, add the psychological layer that “this weight is here because we made it together,” and it’s pure aphrodisiac. Overall, being handsy, cuddly, and unafraid to make full-body contact will keep him constantly aroused and appreciative. It turns your body into a playground – one where he’s always eager to play.

Public Teasing & Social Confidence

A particularly thrilling aspect of feederism for some couples is the little secret of it in public. Teasing him outside the bedroom – in social settings or public places – can add an element of taboo and excitement. It’s like you two have an inside joke the rest of the world doesn’t know. Here’s how to sprinkle in some social or public teasing in a fun, consensual way:

• Hints in Public Dining: The next time you’re out at a restaurant with friends or on a regular date, you can drop subtle hints that only he will pick up on. For instance, deliberately order a lot of food or the richest item on the menu, then catch his eye and lick your lips. Say something innocently like, “I’ve been starving all day, I think I’ll get an appetizer and an entrée… and ooh, dessert of course.” He’ll know exactly why and likely start blushing or getting handsy under the table. During the meal, you can do your enthusiastic eating, and perhaps under the tablecloth place his hand on your thigh as you devour that cheesecake. Whisper something like “I can’t wait for you to see how full I am later” in his ear when others aren’t listening. These small whispers and gestures will have him counting the minutes until you’re alone.
• Public Displays of Appetite: Most people try to eat daintily in front of others – but if you’re comfortable, occasionally letting loose even in social settings can be a huge turn-on for him because it’s for his eyes only. For example, at a casual gathering or a family dinner, you might take second helpings with a satisfied grin, or remark “This is so good, I could eat the whole thing!” while patting your stomach. Others will just think you love the food (nothing wrong with that!), but he’ll be squirming knowing his sexy glutton is on display. It’s risky in a way (being “caught” loving food openly), which can be exciting. If someone offers you more, you can teasingly glance at your partner and say, “Oh, I really shouldn’t… well, okay, twist my arm!” – playing up faux guilt. He’ll internally be cheering you on. Later in private, you might say, “Did you like how I had an extra slice of pizza? I saw you watching.” That acknowledgement will give him chills of delight.
• Dressing to be Noticed in Public: When going out together, dress in one of those curve-hugging outfits we discussed – out in the real world. Maybe it’s that tight dress that shows your belly outline or jeans that are extremely form-fitting. He’ll know you’re deliberately showing off what he’s “done” to you. If a friend playfully comments, “You’re looking curvy, girl!” you can smile and say something like, “Thanks, I’ve been enjoying myself lately!” and shoot him a private wink. Imagine his heart when he hears you practically brag about enjoying eating/gaining. If you’re really bold and the scenario is right, you could even let slip a joking comment like, “He feeds me too well, look at this figure,” while poking your tummy, if among trusted friends who know your humor. This is the kind of social teasing that might embarrass him in the moment, but also massively arouse him – it’s the humiliation/exhibition edge of feederism (knowing others can see you getting bigger). Use this sparingly and only if you both are comfortable outing a bit of the kink dynamic. Even if you don’t actually do it, the idea that you might could be a roleplay scenario to discuss.
• Teasing in Front of Friends (Covertly): There are covert ways to play with him when others are around. For example, at a party, stand in front of him and guide his hands to hold your sides for a second as you chat with someone else – no one sees, but he’s feeling your love handles under your shirt. Or hand him your purse to carry and quietly say “It’s heavy, but I know you like heavy things” with a smirk. How about making a loaded joke if weight comes up? If a friend is lamenting her diet, you could chuckle, “No diets here, life’s too short to skip dessert,” and take a bite of cake while rubbing his leg under the table. Again, tame to others, but signals to him. These moments in public basically tell him “I haven’t forgotten your kink – it’s happening all the time.” The thrill of nearly being discovered or just having that secret will bond you two. You might even find it exciting too – the empowerment of being unashamed in code.
• Social Media or Phone Teases: If you want to be flirty outside of face-to-face moments, send him a text when you’re at work like: “They brought donuts for the meeting… I had 3 😇. Can’t wait to show you the results later.” This will guarantee he’s distracted all day. Or post a cheeky Instagram story of your lavish lunch with the caption “#foodbaby on the way” – something vanilla friends see as a joke, but he knows is a nod to feeder play. (Be mindful with public posts; only do what you’re comfortable with the world possibly knowing.) You could also casually mention to mutual friends that “He’s such a good cook, I swear I’ve gained weight since we started dating!” – which is a normal compliment, but you two know it’s a flirty truth. Later, tell him how you loved saying that and watch him get all riled up that you acknowledged his kink out loud.

Why this works: Public or social teasing adds an element of taboo and thrill. It’s the idea of doing something “naughty” in plain sight – nobody knows you’re basically engaging in foreplay, which makes it exciting. For the feeder, seeing you confidently enjoy food or your body in public is a turn-on because it’s the opposite of hiding or shame. It demonstrates confidence and even a hint of claiming the fetish with pride. Also, the possibility that others notice your weight gain (and that you two might be the only ones who know why) can be exciting. In the personal story we referenced, the woman noted a friend’s mother said she “looked better with a little more weight” and used the word “womanly,” which reassured her inkl.com – in a feeder context, that kind of comment from outside can be thrilling because it means the gain is visible. For a feeder, that’s like external validation of his handiwork. Social teasing needs mutual understanding; you both should enjoy it, otherwise it could cross into real embarrassment. But done right, it strengthens the conspiracy of pleasure between you. It tells him that even outside the bedroom, you’re thinking of him and turning him on. The psychology here is also about normalizing the kink – you aren’t relegating it to secret times only, you’re weaving it into life (subtly). That can make the fetish feel more accepted and real, which in turn can make your intimate life even hotter.

Power Play: Dominance & Submission in Feeding

Feederism often naturally involves a power dynamic – typically the feeder has a dominant or controlling role (encouraging you to eat, “growing” you), and the feedee is in a more submissive, receiving role. But these roles can be played with in many ways to spice up your encounters. If both of you are comfortable with a bit of BDSM flavor, incorporating dominance and submission elements can take your feeder play to new heights. Here’s how to explore the power dynamics erotically:

• Feeder-as-Dom Scenarios: Embrace his dominant side as the one “in charge” of your indulgence. You can set up a scene where he controls what and how much you eat – and you must obey (within your limits). For example, have him instruct you: “Tonight, you’re going to finish all of this, no excuses.” He could tie your wrists with a ribbon or silk scarf (nothing too restrictive, just symbolic) and slowly feed you forkfuls, saying “Good girl” every time you accept more. If you whimper that you’re full, he might tut and say “One more bite for me. You can do it.” This can be incredibly erotic if you both enjoy the consensual power imbalance – it’s a form of service from you, and control from him. Some couples even incorporate mild bondage or blindfolds during feeding to heighten the senses and submission. Imagine being blindfolded at the table while he brings each decadent treat to your lips; you have no idea what’s next or how much is left. It’s a trust exercise and a turn-on. Feederism has been compared to BDSM in that “the feeder-feedee relationship is most often one of a dominant and a submissive”vice.com. Lean into that if it excites you.
• Feedee-as-Dom (Reverse the Roles): Maybe you’re actually the one with a dominant streak – you can flip the script and be a goddess demanding to be fed. In this dynamic, you might strut in and declare to him (who becomes the sub for this play) that you expect a lavish meal and he’s going to provide it now. You could sit on the couch like a queen on a throne and snap your fingers, “Bring me those cookies… Actually, feed them to me. And don’t stop until I say so.” He, being turned on, will comply. You can tease him verbally: “That’s it, make me bigger. This is all you’re good for, isn’t it? Fattening me up.” He may protest in play (“You’re going to get so fat!”), and you can retort, “I better. You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” This reverses who’s “in control” of the fetish – you’re using his kink to dominate him. It can be a mind-blowing twist for a guy who is normally in control. The submission for him comes in pleasing you and indulging you. Maybe you even restrict his pleasure until he’s fulfilled your feeding orders (no touching himself or you sexually until you’re truly stuffed). This dynamic might be less common, but it’s absolutely possible if he’s open to exploring a sub side. It can be very hot for you as well, as you get to be shamelessly demanding about your appetites.
• Incorporate Discipline or Brat Play: If you want a playful D/s vibe without going fully serious, try a “bratty feedee” approach. You pretend to resist or be naughty about eating, and he, as the dom, has to “punish” you with more food or other fun punishments. For instance, you pout and say, “No, I won’t eat my veggies.” He then might pull you over his knee, give a light spank on your butt, and say “Naughty girl, you’ll eat what I give you.” You giggle and then comply by taking a bite, making a show of being “tamed.” Or you could do the opposite – you sneak an extra treat when you weren’t supposed to (in roleplay), and he “catches” you. “Stealing snacks, are we? Now you have to finish the whole bag.” Perhaps as you do, he restrains your hands behind your back and makes you eat from his hand, to teach you a lesson in obedience. This kind of play adds a little edge and can incorporate spanking, restraint, forced-feeding (consensual), etc., all under a fun make-believe context. The key is it’s consensual roleplay – you aren’t actually upset; you’re performing a scene.
• Ultimate Submission – Funnel Feeding Fantasy: At the far extreme of feeder dom/sub is the funnel feeding scenario, essentially force-feeding with a tube/funnel device. This is an advanced fetish activity that not all will want to do in reality (it can be unsafe if not careful), but some enjoy the fantasy of it. The idea is you relinquish all control of intake; he literally pours a high-calorie shake down a funnel into you, “forcing” you to consume more than you could voluntarily fantasyfeeder.com. It’s described as “the ultimate experience of submission and weight gain” fantasyfeeder.com because you give up even the act of chewing/swallowing at your own pace. Now, safety first – real funnel feeding needs caution and isn’t common fantasyfeeder.com. But you can roleplay a milder version: perhaps he mixes a huge gainer shake and orders you to keep chugging while he holds the bottle, with a hand on your throat gently (feeling you swallow). Or use a large straw with you kneeling and hands behind your back while he holds the drink. If the fantasy appeals, talk it through and be careful. The turn-on is the total power exchange: you become his to “fill up” as he pleases. For many feeders, that is the peak erotic scenario – you completely submitting to growth at his hands. Only do what you’re both comfortable with, but know that even just talking about “I want to funnel feed you and make you huge” during sex can drive him wild, whether or not you ever do it.
• Psychological Domination: Not all D/s is about physical control; some is mental. A feeder might get inside your head with encouragement or rules: e.g. he sets a rule that you must have dessert every day and sends you naughty texts to ensure compliance. Or he might edge you during sex and only allow you to climax if you agree to gain X pounds by next month (a very explicit bargain!). On the flip, as a domme feedee, you might tease him that you’ll withhold sex unless he orders extra cheese on your pizza – using his desire to make you bigger as leverage. These mind games, if consensual and done lovingly, can spice things up and create a sense that the fetish is always there influencing your behavior. Just be sure real emotions aren’t being harmed (always reassure each other it’s play and you love each other at any size).

Why this works: Feederism already contains a kernel of power exchange – exploring it can intensify the turn-ons. For many, control is arousing: the feeder feels powerful being able to affect your body, and the feedee feels the bliss of surrender (or vice versa). A study on feederism noted this dominant/submissive element, comparing feeders to fighters who “get crazier when they see blood… We get crazier when we see you swell up”, as one feeder put it tumblr.com. By explicitly roleplaying dominance and submission, you tap into the psychological core of the fetish: it’s about indulgence and often power. Domination scenarios highlight the control aspect (he controls her diet/body), while submission highlights the nurturing/care aspect (she’s dependent on his feeding). Both can be deeply erotic. It also allows for pushing boundaries in a safe, negotiated way. If he sometimes fears he’s being “too controlling” about food, doing a D/s scene where you ask him to take control removes that fear – it’s for fun, with consent. And if you worry about “letting yourself go,” acting it out as a fetish scene can paradoxically give you a sense of empowerment or acceptance. Ultimately, this is about mutual pleasure. When you find the D/s balance that appeals to both, it can create some of the most intense erotic experiences in your feeder/feedee journey, forging trust and amplifying excitement.

Multi-Sensory Triggers: Engaging All His Senses

Feederism is a very sensory fetish – it’s visual, tactile, taste-oriented, and even olfactory/auditory. While we’ve covered a lot of visual and physical suggestions, don’t forget the other senses! Engaging multiple senses can strengthen arousal and create a full-bodied erotic experience. Here are ways to stimulate smell, sound, taste, and beyond to turn him on:

• Aromas of Cooking and Food: The smell of delicious food can actually put a feeder in the mood. If you’re cooking, let the house fill with the scent of baked goods, sizzling butter, spices – whatever gets his appetite (and other appetites) up. Greet him wearing a bit of that aroma (lingering flour or vanilla on your skin). You could even use foodie perfumes/lotions: scents like vanilla, chocolate, or cinnamon on your neck and wrists. It’s subtle, but he’ll subconsciously associate you with yummy treats. One feeder admitted to finding a more “natural” body smell combined with indulgence to be hot: “Have you noticed you kind of smell differently since you started gaining? …I kind of like it actually” quantativeeasing-stuff.tumblr.com – implying that even the way your body’s scent changes (perhaps a bit muskier or just well-fed and warm) can be arousing. So, embrace the olfactory element: light dessert-scented candles, let that fresh-baked cookie smell waft into the bedroom. It creates an ambience of constant indulgence that primes his senses.
• Atmospheric Sound & Music: While the sound of you eating (soft munches, satisfied “mmm”s, and even belly gurgles) is likely a turn-on itself, consider background sounds or music to set the scene. Maybe play softly some playful songs about food (“Cherry Pie” by Warrant for a rock vibe, or “Cake” by Melanie Martinez for something modern and kinky) during a feeding session – it can add humor and lighten the mood. Or go the opposite: sensual jazz or R&B as you feed each other chocolate-covered strawberries, to make it a sultry feast. You could also tease him with words as sound: at random times, lean in and whisper in a low voice something like “Chomp chomp, baby… can’t wait to gobble you up later,” in the most seductive tone. The goal is to use sound – whether it’s music, your voice, or even recorded moans. Perhaps make an audio recording of you enjoying a treat – just the sounds – and send it to him; it’ll drive his imagination wild. And don’t shy away from your own unladylike sounds – the slurp of a milkshake, a hearty gulp, the clink of your spoon scraping a bowl clean. To him, these are the sounds of a sexy woman unabashedly indulging.
• Visual Stimuli & Media: We’ve done a lot of visual with your body, but you can also incorporate other visual aids. For instance, watch feederism erotica or “stuffing videos” together. There are videos online of women eating huge amounts or showing off gains – watching one as foreplay could be exciting for both, sparking new ideas (“Wanna try what she’s doing?”). Or flip through photos on sites like FantasyFeeder of before/after weight gain progress – comment on what you both find hot. You might even keep your own little photo album: past pictures of you that are thinner compared to now; show him side by side and say “Look what you’ve done to me… thank you.” That visual proof can heat things up quickly (likely he’s fantasized about your “before and after”). Another idea: if you’re apart, send him a short video clip of you taking a big bite of something and winking, or of your belly from your POV after a meal, jiggling it for the camera. These visual snippets throughout the day will keep him eagerly awaiting the real thing.
• Flavor Play and Edible Sensations: Integrate taste playfully in sexual contexts. We mentioned using whipped cream or chocolate sauce on your body, but you can get creative: maybe have him do a “body shot” with a rich drink from your navel or cleavage (if your belly button is deep enough, pour a tiny bit of sweet liqueur or soda in there!). Or place a piece of chocolate between your breasts and have him eat it without using his hands. Let him bite food off of intimate parts of you (e.g. holding a strawberry between your teeth for a lips-to-lips handoff). Conversely, you can taste him during feeding – kiss him with a mouthful of cake, pushing some into his mouth with your tongue (messy make-out!); or lick a trail of spilled wine off his neck. Use flavored lubricants or warming oils in dessert flavors during sex so the room smells and tastes like caramel or berries. The aim is to blur the line between eating and sex – make them one sensual experience where taste is just as erotic as touch.
• Temperature and Texture: Another sensory angle: temperature play. Have a hot drink and then kiss him, so he feels the warmth of tea or cocoa from your tongue – then chase it with a cold ice cream kiss. The contrasts can be exciting. Texture-wise, maybe wear a velvet or satin robe while lounging – something that feels luxurious against your skin (and his, when he touches you). If he’s into the physical sensation of softness, lay on an ultra-soft faux fur blanket during belly rub time to enhance the cozy, soft atmosphere. Little details like the clink of ice in a glass, the warmth of an oven in the kitchen, or the foam of a bubble bath you two share after a big meal (washing each other lovingly) can all contribute subtly to the sensory feast.

Why this works: A fetish can become stronger when multiple senses reinforce the same theme. In feederism, the theme is indulgence and abundance. Smells of rich food, sounds of pleasurable eating, tastes of sweetness, visuals of curvy beauty, the touch of softness – together these create an immersive experience. It’s almost like building a Pavlovian response: he smells brownies baking and instantly thinks of your sexy dessert time together. Engaging all senses also helps keep both of you in the moment; it can create a sort of erotic bubble where nothing else exists except sensual pleasure. Psychologically, it shows you’re thoughtful about the experience – you’re literally feeding his senses. And people into feederism often describe it as very holistic: it’s not just “I like fat” – it’s I love the process, the feel, the sound of a belly growling or a satisfied sigh, the smell of comfort foods, the whole vibe. By minding these details, you elevate your encounters from just “eating then sex” to a full-on erotic feast for the body and mind.

Embrace the Journey: Confidence, Communication & Fun

Finally, a crucial ingredient in all of this is your mindset. Truly engaging with a feeder partner in an erotic way means embracing the journey you’re on together. That includes the physical changes, the psychological turn-ons, and the emotional bond. Here are a few closing tips to ensure this adventure remains positive and pleasurable for both of you:

• Communicate Openly and Honestly: As with any kink or intense sexual play, communication is key. Talk to your partner about what suggestions from this guide excite you and which you’re unsure about. Establish safewords or signals if you dive into heavier D/s play or pushing eating limits – for example, “red light” means stop immediately, or simply say “I need a break” if you feel too full or uncomfortable. Also discuss real-life limits: Are you okay with gaining weight, and if so how much? Do you want to keep it more fantasy than reality in terms of pounds gained? Being on the same page prevents future resentment. A great first step is exactly what you’re doing: learning about his fetish in depth. Encourage him to share his specific fantasies or the why behind them. The more you both talk, the more intimate and trusting your relationship becomes. Remember, both of you should feel heard and satisfied. Your pleasure and comfort matter just as much as his fetish. Ideally, you find the sweet spot where you genuinely enjoy these activities (and you might be surprised how arousing they become for you too!).
• Build Confidence in Your Body: Gaining weight or flaunting your already larger body can challenge a lot of women’s self-image, given societal pressures. But in this relationship, those extra curves are celebrated. Try to see yourself through his eyes: he finds your softness wildly sexy, he cherishes every inch of you, and every pound gained is admired. Let that positive attention boost your self-esteem. Many feedees describe feeling like goddesses because their feeder partners worship their bodies. If you catch yourself feeling shy about your tummy or eating in front of him, remember how he reacts: with hunger in his eyes and affection. It can be incredibly liberating to realize that things you thought were “flaws” are, to him, the hottest thing on Earth. Embrace that! Wear clothes you love, eat what you love, and soak in the compliments. One woman in a feeder relationship said, “I was trained to equate being full with being horny, and getting fatter as being more attractive.” inkl.com While “trained” might sound funny, it shows how her mindset shifted to enjoy fullness and new curves as sexy. You don’t have to become a different person – you’re still you, just indulging more. Confidence is sexy, period. And there’s nothing sexier to a feeder than seeing you confident in the very body he’s helping create.
• Health and Well-being: As candid as we are about indulgence, a quick note on health: Feederism does involve encouraging weight gain, which can have health implications long-term. The key is informed consent. If you’re consciously gaining for him (or for mutual enjoyment), keep tabs on your health markers. You can be larger and still healthy, but sudden or extreme weight gain can bring issues. Make sure you’re both aware of the risks involved sniffieshush.com and have a plan if either of you becomes concerned (e.g., focusing more on stuffing sessions that simulate the fetish without constant weight gain, or incorporating exercise for strength even as you pad on pounds). Some couples agree on limits like “we won’t go beyond X weight” or they take breaks. Balance the fantasy with real life needs. A loving feeder should ultimately care about your well-being, not just his fetish. Many actually do – they want a happy, willing partner above all. As one article noted, feeders say if the relationship is fully consenting, both parties are aware of the risks involved sniffieshush.com and make choices together. So be partners in this. It can actually become part of your intimacy to take care of each other (e.g. cooking more nutritious high-calorie food vs. just junk, etc.). And remember, it’s okay to set boundaries like, “I’ll do the sexy stuff, but I’m not comfortable going past a certain point.” A genuine partner will respect that.
• Have Fun and Be Playful: At the end of the day, this is about pleasure and fun. Don’t get too caught up in doing everything “right.” Kinks are meant to be enjoyed, often with a good dose of humor and playfulness. There will be messy moments (literally cake on the floor, or burps that turn into giggles). There might be times when one of you isn’t in the mood – and that’s okay, keep it lighthearted. If a roleplay or idea doesn’t work, you can both laugh and say “well, we tried!” and either tweak it or move on. The fact that you’re making this effort to please him is huge – he likely feels extremely lucky and turned on just by your interest in his fetish. So even if, say, you tried to be dominant and ended up cracking up instead of being stern – that’s a bonding moment too. Intimacy is built not just by executing sexy scenarios perfectly, but by sharing vulnerable, silly, joyful experiences together. Feederism can be bizarre to outsiders, sure, but it’s your thing as a couple – own it with pride and a smile. Many feeder couples develop a great sense of humor about it (“Of course we need a king-size bed – queen size can’t handle us!” etc.). That lightness actually makes the erotic parts even better because there’s no shame, only acceptance.
• Cultivate Connection Beyond the Kink: While this fetish can become a big part of your relationship, ensure you two also nurture the non-sexual aspects – emotional connection, shared hobbies (besides eating, haha), future plans. The strongest feeder/feedee pairs see the kink as an extension of their love, not the sole basis of it. So keep being a normal couple too – going out (yes, you can still go hiking or dancing even if you enjoy cupcakes; one can do both!), talking about life, supporting each other’s goals. This will prevent resentment (“all we do is fetish stuff”) and keep the fetish exciting rather than routine. When you have a solid foundation, the trust and affection flow into your sexual play, making it even more intense. You know he values you, not just your belly, and vice versa. That makes it all the more meaningful when he’s holding that belly and telling you he loves you. You’ll feel safe to let go fully, indulge deeply, and explore freely because the love is there, big and solid (just like you’re becoming!).

In conclusion, dating a feeder can be an incredibly erotic and enriching experience. By using a variety of approaches – from what you wear, to how you talk dirty, to the rituals you create – you can keep his senses on overdrive and build a fulfilling sexual rhythm together. You’ve got the power of pleasure in your hands (and hips, and lips, and stomach…). Enjoy it! Be bold, be shameless, and most importantly, be yourself throughout this journey. As you’ve seen from real anecdotes and community wisdom, there’s no shortage of ideas to try.

Remember, confidence and communication are your best allies. When you dive into that extra slice of pizza with a wink at him, or strut in wearing that tight dress proudly displaying your curves, you’re not just feeding his fetish – you’re also feeding the intimacy and trust between you two. And that’s truly satisfying in every sense.

By following these tips and adding your own personal twist, you’ll have your feeder partner wrapped around your little finger (or perhaps, more appropriately, around your well-fed body!). Here’s to many nights of full bellies, turned-on whispers, and loving embraces. Enjoy every bite, every jiggle, and every naughty moment – you both deserve it. Bon appétit and happy loving!