Freud, Jung & Feederism: What Your Food Fetish Reveals
Dive into Freud’s oral fixation, Jung’s archetypes & modern psychology to uncover why feederism turns you on—plus a self‑quiz to decode your kink.
Have you ever wondered why the act of feeding or gaining weight can feel so intensely erotic? If you have a feederism fetish (a fascination with feeding or being fed for sexual pleasure), you're certainly not alone – and you're not weird for wanting to understand it better. In fact, two of history’s most famous psychologists, Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung, might have a thing or two to say about your appetite for love.
In this deep dive, we'll explore feederism from Freud’s and Jung’s perspectives – with a friendly, storytelling twist. 🍰 Pull up a chair, grab a snack (fitting, right? 😋), and let’s dig in!
Clair Horwell
Have a girlfriend and find it difficult to open up to her about your fetish? Maybe send this to her!
What Is Feederism, Exactly? (A Quick Primer)
Before we invite Freud and Jung to the dinner table, let's clarify what feederism means. Feederism is a niche fat fetishism subculture where individuals eroticize eating, weight gain, and feeding. In a feederism scenario, typically you have:
- The Feeder – the person who enjoys feeding their partner and encouraging them to gain weight (this act is what turns them on).
- The Feedee – the person who enjoys being fed, eating, and gaining weight, finding sexual pleasure in the feeling of fullness or growing fat.
In other words, food isn't just food – it's foreplay (or even the main event) for people with this fetish. Feederism can involve anything from lovingly offering your partner an extra slice of cake, to more extreme acts like funnel-feeding weight gain shakes. And yes, it's usually consensual and negotiated; two adults finding bliss in calories and curves.
Fun fact: Feederism is often considered a type of “erotic weight gain” fetish. Some folks are aroused by the process of gaining weight itself, not just the end result. As one academic report put it, “Feedees claim to become sexually aroused by eating, being fed, and the idea or act of gaining weight.” That means the journey (every bite, every pound) is as sexy as the destination.
Now that we know what feederism is, let’s imagine inviting our two famous psychologists to comment on this unusual feast. What would Freud say as he strokes his beard, and what would Jung see in our midnight refrigerator raids? 🥐🕵️
(Spoiler: They have very different takes, but both are fascinating!)
Freud’s Take: It’s All About Mom, Milk, and the Mouth
When it comes to anything kinky or unusual in sex, Sigmund Freud is likely to pipe up with a theory about your childhood. Freud was convinced that our sexual preferences in adulthood are shaped by how we navigated our early developmental stages. And for feederism, he'd probably zero in on the very first stage: the Oral Stage.
The Oral Fixation and Never-Ending Appetites
According to Freud, babies experience the world and love primarily through the mouth – think of a baby contentedly sucking at mom’s breast. In fact, Freud famously said that “a child sucking at his mother's breast has become the prototype of every relation of love.” In other words, that warm, snug feeling of being fed is our first-ever love affair!
So, what happens if that early oral needs weren’t perfectly met (or were over-indulged)? Freud would warn that you might develop an oral fixation. This means as an adult you could be unconsciously stuck in seeking comfort and pleasure through your mouth. Classic examples are people who smoke, constantly bite their nails, or can’t stop chewing gum. Freud even suggested that an orally fixated person might overeat or drink too much, still trying to satisfy those infantile cravings.
Now, feederism takes oral satisfaction to a sexual level. If you get turned on by feeding or eating, Freud would give a knowing nod: “Aha! The libido (sexual energy) is still seeking gratification at the oral stage.” In fact, Freud’s theory directly links excessive eating or intense focus on oral activities to unresolved early childhood stuff. And indeed, many people with feederism fetish report that the act of eating or feeding is their biggest turn-on, sometimes even more than “standard” sexual acts.
Freud might also point out that for some, oral fixations can shape sexual preferences. He noted that an adult fixated in the oral stage may gain sexual pleasure from things like kissing, oral sex, or other mouth-focused behaviors rather than intercourse. Feederism would fit right into this idea – here, eating food becomes an erotic act, not so different from a kiss in its symbolic value.
Mommy Issues? The Feederism Oedipal Twist
And we can’t invoke Freud without mentioning the big one: the Oedipus complex (the idea that we have unconscious romantic feelings for our opposite-sex parent in early childhood). Freud might slyly ask a feeder or feedee: Was your mother a very nurturing (or withholding) figure? It’s a bit uncomfortable 😅, but Freud believed we all carry some unconscious desire for that original caregiver love. In a feederism context, one could speculate:
- A feedee (the one being fed) might be subconsciously trying to re-create the feeling of being a cared-for child, receiving ultimate comfort and love through food (just like a baby with mom’s milk). The bedroom (or kitchen!) becomes a safe space to be “little” again – utterly loved, free of adult responsibilities, and full in every sense.
- A feeder (the one doing the feeding) might, interestingly, be identifying with the nurturing parent role. Picture a man tenderly stuffing his partner with treats; Freud might say this man is acting out a motherly role, perhaps because nurturing others makes him feel powerful or needed in the way his own parents once did. (Freud loved to point out these role swaps and identifications).
Of course, Freud could also take a darker turn and mutter about “perversion.” To Freud, any non-traditional sexual focus (feet, food, fancy costumes – you name it) was called a “sexual perversion” – not as an insult, but as a clinical term meaning the sexual energy got diverted from the typical path of intercourse for reproduction. He might lump feederism in here, theorizing that somewhere along development, the wires between food and sex got crossed. Perhaps during childhood you learned (or decided) that food equals love in a very intense way, so later on your libido loyally followed that path.
Freud in a Nutshell: He’d likely say your feederism fetish stems from an oral fixation – essentially, a part of you is still that little kid finding bliss in a full tummy and a loving caregiver. The erotic charge you feel with feeding is a refinding of that first love (milk and mom). It’s not really about cupcakes or funnel shakes; it’s about comfort, intimacy, and yes, unresolved childhood cravings. As Freud might quip, “Sex and sandwiches? It all goes back to the crib.” 🍼🥪
Before you go blaming your parents for your kink (please don't, haha!), remember that Freud’s ideas are just one way to look at it. We’re about to see a totally different view with Carl Jung – one that brings in ancient goddesses and your personal psyche’s growth. Ready for some archetypal spice? 🌶️
Jung’s Take: Feeding the Soul (Archetypes, Shadows, and All)
Where Freud looked backward to childhood, Carl Jung often looked inward and outward – to the soul, symbols, and the collective wisdom of humanity. If Freud would analyze how your past made you a feeder or feedee, Jung would ask what does feederism mean to you, deep down? What archetype or story might be playing out through your fetish?
Jung didn’t focus on specific “stages” of development. Instead, he believed in the collective unconscious – a sort of shared well of symbols and archetypes (universal characters and themes) that show up in our dreams, fantasies, and yes, sometimes our sexual turn-ons. Let’s explore a few Jungian concepts that map uncannily well to feederism.
The Great Mother: Food, Fertility, and Abundance
One of Jung’s major archetypes is The Great Mother. Think of Mother Earth, a goddess of fertility and nourishment. She’s often symbolized by images of bounty: a cornucopia overflowing with food, a pregnant belly, or large breasts full of milk. In many ancient cultures, voluptuous figurines (with big hips, bellies, and breasts) symbolized fertility, wealth, and care.
For example, take the famous prehistoric statue of the Venus of Willendorf – a tiny Stone Age figurine of a nude woman with exaggerated curves (large belly and breasts). Archaeologists believe she might have been a fertility idol, basically a prehistoric “Great Mother” symbol. Jungians later noted how widespread such images are – suggesting the idea of a bountiful, nourishing mother is deeply embedded in the human psyche.
Figure: The prehistoric Venus of Willendorf figurine (~25,000 BCE) is often seen as a symbol of fertility and abundance. Jungians interpret her ample curves as embodying the “Great Mother” archetype – a primordial image of nurturance, nourishment, and life-giving bounty.
(In feederism, the attraction to a well-fed body or the act of feeding may tap into this ancient archetypal association with fertility and nurturance.)
Now, let’s connect this to feederism: Is it a stretch to say that a feedee’s growing belly or a feeder’s act of providing food resonates with the Great Mother archetype? Maybe not! Jung would encourage us to consider that on a symbolic level, fat can represent fertility, comfort, and plenty. The feedee, in their fullness, embodies abundance – like a living fertility icon. The feeder often takes on a caretaker role, providing sustenance, akin to a mother or generous earth figure.
In Jungian terms, your fetish might be more than a quirk of your personal history; it might be plugging you into an age-old symbolic dance of nurturer and nourished, creation and growth. The pleasure you derive could be partly the soul’s recognition of a profound archetype: nourishment = love = life.
Jungian analyst John Sanford once said that when we fall in love (or lust), we often fall for an image within the other person that reflects something in our own psyche. So if the sight of a partner fattening up drives you wild, perhaps your psyche is enthralled by the image of the bountiful lover (your personal version of the Great Mother or Great Father archetype of abundance). It’s a beautiful way to frame it: feederism as an intimate ritual honoring the archetype of abundance and care.
The Shadow Side: Desire in the Darkness
Of course, Jungian analysis wouldn’t be complete without checking in on the Shadow – the parts of ourselves we reject or keep hidden, which then sneak out in other ways. Society today has a lot of baggage around body size. We’re bombarded with messages that “fat is bad” or that one must diet and be slim to be attractive. It’s possible that someone growing up with those norms might repress any attraction to larger bodies or any desire to indulge. That repression can send these desires into the Shadow... where they often gain power.
Jung would say: what you repress will find a way to surface, sometimes in exaggerated or symbolic forms. A fetish can sometimes be a way the psyche expresses something forbidden in a “safe” coded manner. In the case of feederism, the taboo of fat and the forbidden joy of gluttony are dragged into the bedroom, transforming shame into turn-on.
Think about it: Many feedees talk about the mixture of shame and thrill when they outgrow clothes or see the numbers on the scale climb. A Jungian might ask, does part of the turn-on come from dancing with your Shadow? Perhaps the fetish is partly fueled by that naughty sense of “I’m doing something society wouldn’t approve of, and it feels liberating.” Embracing your Shadow – in this case, your love for fat and food – can indeed release intense energy. In a way, feederism might be your psyche’s method of integrating your Shadow, finding beauty and excitement in what others deem off-limits.
On the flip side, the Shadow could also manifest if someone uses feederism to express buried emotions. For instance, consider a scenario one Reddit user described: her ex-partner had a fat fetish but was only aroused by it in secret; in regular life he was actually repelled by fat women (a confusing dual attitude). Some Jungians interpreted this as the man being “turned on by his own disgust,” meaning his repressed attraction – buried in Shadow – came out as a fetish, precisely because it was wrapped in humiliation and taboo. In other words, his conscious mind said “this is gross,” but his Shadow said “this is desired,” and the conflict itself generated sexual excitement.
The lesson from Jung: exploring the unconscious feelings behind your fetish – the tender, nurturing ones and the dark, edgy ones – can lead to profound self-awareness. Is your inner lover a benevolent Great Mother offering warmth and chocolate chip cookies? 🍪 Or is there a bit of a “Terrible Mother” archetype lurking – the consuming, controlling force? Jung observed that every archetype has a light and dark side. The Great Mother gives life, but the Terrible Mother (her shadow aspect) can smother or devour.
In feederism, that might translate to the fine line between caring vs. controlling. A healthy feeder-feedee relationship might feel like a Great Mother’s embrace (comforting, consensual, healing). But if it tips into manipulation or health-endangerment without care, the Terrible Mother’s devouring jaws might be opening. Jung would nudge you to be mindful of that balance: Are you nurturing, or are you “consuming” each other? Symbolically, of course!
Food for Personal Growth
Another Jungian angle is to see any fetish as a symbol your psyche has chosen. Rather than a problem to be fixed, it could be a story to unravel. Jung might ask: Why food? Why weight? What do these mean to you, personally? Perhaps you grew up in a household where food was how love was shown (big family dinners = love), so your erotic mind latched onto food as love’s language. Or perhaps you once experienced a period of life feeling starved – emotionally or physically – and now the idea of plenty turns you on as a way to compensate for that lack.
Jung was big on individual meaning. He might encourage you to explore your dreams or memories around feeding and fullness. Do you have recurring dreams of eating or being eaten? (Common, believe it or not!). Do you idolize certain animals like the bear before hibernation (who stuffs itself), or figures like Santa Claus (jolly and fat)? Such images could be clues to your personal myth.
Ultimately, Jung’s perspective empowers you to see your fetish not as an odd glitch, but as part of your individuation – the journey of becoming whole. By understanding the symbolic layers of feederism, you might discover it’s connected to your creativity, your need for security, or your capacity to care for others and yourself. In Jungian therapy, one might even do active imagination, dialoguing with the “inner feeder” or “inner feedee” as characters: What would they say? Are they an ancient god/goddess of abundance in disguise? A child self craving love? A rebel challenging norms? Listen, and you may be surprised what insights bubble up (much like that satisfying burp after a good meal – pardon the imagery!).
Jung in a Nutshell: He’d invite you to view feederism as a meaningful symbol. The fetish could be enacting the Great Mother archetype – a dance of nurturer and nurtured that speaks to deep human longings for food = love. It also might engage with your Shadow, turning societal shame into private pleasure. Rather than just ask “what happened in your past?”, Jung asks, “what story is your fetish telling, and how can understanding it help you grow?”
Quiz: Understanding Your Feederism (A Self-Reflection Mini-Quiz)
So, here’s a little self-reflection quiz. Grab a journal or just ponder these questions. (There’s no grade, promise! Consider it a chat with your own subconscious over a cup of tea… or a bowl of ice cream🍦).
- Earliest Food Memories: What is your happiest or most vivid memory involving food as a child? Is it being fed a favorite meal by a loving family member? Celebrating with a cake? Or maybe using food for comfort when you were sad? Freudian hint: This might give clues if any childhood feelings are echoing in your fetish now.
- What Turns You On Most?: In feederism, do you get more excited by the act of feeding (the power/care dynamic), or the weight gain and body changes, or something else (like the messiness or submission aspect)? Try to pinpoint the core element that thrills you. Jungian hint: Each element could tie to a different archetype or meaning (e.g., nurturing, transformation, taboo-breaking).
- Nurture vs. Control: How do you feel during your feederism activities – deeply connected and loved, or powerful and in control, or even a bit of both? Our feelings can reveal which archetypal role we’re embodying. (Great Mother energy is more “I want to care for/be cared for”, whereas Shadow or power-play might be “I want to dominate/surrender”). Understanding this can help ensure your play stays on the side you intend (loving vs. overly controlling).
- Public vs. Private Self: How do you feel about your fetish in light of society’s attitudes? Is it something you celebrate about yourself, or something you hide out of shame? If you feel shame, ask why – is it purely fear of judgment, or do you internally judge it too? If you feel pride or acceptance, what helped you get there? (This question digs into the Shadow integration – embracing what others reject.)
- Personal Symbols and Dreams: Have you noticed any recurring fantasies or dreams related to feeding, weight, or size? For example, do you daydream about transforming someone (or yourself) dramatically? Do any images (like a goddess, an animal, or a specific scenario) consistently arouse you? List them out – you might find, say, that you often imagine yourself as a king/queen feeding grapes to a lover (hello, power archetype 🍇), or being a child indulged with treats (hello, inner child). Each symbol is a clue to what feederism signifies for you.
There are no “right” answers to these questions – they’re just food for thought (couldn’t resist that pun!). The goal is to spark a conversation between your everyday self and the deeper layers of your psyche. You might even consider discussing your thoughts with a therapist who is kink-aware, if you want to delve further in a safe space.
Bringing It All Together: Embrace the Understanding 🧠💖
Both Freud and Jung offer fascinating lenses on the feederism fetish, but at the end of the day, your experience is uniquely yours. You might find that Freud’s explanation of “oral fixation” resonates – maybe you do recognize a thread from childhood (like how being offered seconds at dinner always made you feel loved, and now amplifying that feeling is erotic). Or perhaps Jung’s archetypes clicked with you – you realize that, say, you’ve always been drawn to images of plenty (harvest feasts, plush cozy settings) and your fetish is an extension of that love of abundance and comfort.
Understanding the psychology behind your fetish can be incredibly empowering. It can turn what might have been a source of confusion or shame into an opportunity for self-knowledge and self-love. After all, our sexual quirks often sit at a crossroads of our mind, body, and culture – they have so much to tell us if we listen.
A few friendly reminders as we wrap up:
- You’re Not “Broken” or “Alone”: There are entire communities (both online and offline) of people into feederism and related fetishes. Humans are wildly diverse in what we find sexy – and that's okay! As long as things are consensual and safe, having a less-common fetish doesn’t make you any less worthy or “normal.”
- Consent & Communication are Key: Freud and Jung were busy theorizing about the mind, but let’s get practical too. If you’re engaging in feederism play, keep communication open with your partner. The fetish can involve health considerations (rapid weight gain can carry risks), so make sure you both are on the same page about limits, goals, and well-being. Nurture, don’t harm – that’s the sweet spot where fantasy and care meet.
- Self-Acceptance: By exploring the possible roots and meanings of your fetish, you might find you appreciate it – and yourself – in a new light. Maybe you discover that at its heart, your desire is really about intimacy and trust (feeding someone or being fed requires both!). Or that it’s about freedom – thumbing your nose at diet culture and doing what feels good. Whatever it is, embrace that truth. Often, understanding melts away a lot of the guilt or confusion.
In conclusion, imagine this: Freud, Jung, and you are sitting together after this big feast of ideas. Freud raises a glass of wine (or a baby bottle, ha!) and toasts to the child within who still savors sweet comfort. Jung holds up a piece of rich chocolate cake, honoring the ancient gods of pleasure and plentitude smiling down on this moment. And you? You sit there, feeling a little more seen, a little more understood, and hopefully, a lot more accepting of your delicious self. 🍰❤️
Bon appétit to that, and may your journey of self-discovery be as fulfilling as the most decadent dessert. Cheers!
